Ways to waste time and money

I've got plenty, and thought I would share some with the faithful few readers I've got.

1. Wal-Mart Free Samples & Trials. Updated often, you can get free samples of all kinds of crap - shampoos, lotions, dog treats, etc whatnot.

2. Penzey's Spices. I friggin love this place because they have all kinds of unique stuff and you can order neat spice blends in these little jars so you aren't wasting too much if you don't like it or don't know what to do with it. Like, I've got a little jar of Chinese 5-spice powder that I use as a secret ingredient in a lot of rubs and marinades. I also highly recommend the Northwoods Fire seasoning. God I could spend hours on this website.

3. Slick Deals. Hey, it pointed me to a sale on amazon where I got 2 really nice Calphalon stainless steel pots for a total of $20, shipped. Helllooooo.

4. Brads Deals. I advise just signing up for the email list because I find the website really overwhelming. So daily you get this neat little "list of deals" in your inbox. Sometimes there's some really good shit. Like, shoe sales where all Nine West shoes are $14.99. Also has lots of coupon codes and whatnot. Fun. Me Likey.

5. The Pioneer Woman Cooks. She lives out in like, bum-fuck country and raises cows. But, some of this stuff she makes on here looks amazing, I've used a number of her recipe ideas already. And, she's funny and takes delicious photos.

6. This is why you're fat. Reaching for that massive burger dripping with grease, cheese, and bacon? Look at the photos here and you might put it down. I can't believe some of this stuff actually exists. Hilarious.

7. Heat Eat Review. Ever eat those infamous frozen meals at work? This website reviews them, so you might be able to spare yourself from disgustingness.

8. Smart Bargains. I have gotten AMAZING deals on Cole Haan and Kate Spade shoes and bags on here. Right now is a massive bed and bath sale. Its kind of like Overstock.com, but I like it better. Stuff seems higher quality.

So there's 7 things that you can totally waste hours on. Cause I bet you were looking for JUST that. Now you have an idea of the mind-numbing things I do with all of MY free time :-)

Ohhhhh and the money. The money. Me have none. OH well. You can't take it with you.

Disgusting

I ate a filet o' fish for the first time this weekend. Ok, I ate HALF of a filet o' fish for the first time this weekend. I was so insanely disgusted by its disgustingness that I only got through one half of it.

Yeah, I know. Been a long time right and you're like, HEY why are you talking about a stupid fucking sandwich? Well, I blog at work now so I'm kind of down and out on blogging....

In other news, Cooper jumped out of a 2nd story hotel window while we were in Ocean City this weekend. We left him in the room for ONE HOUR so we could grab something to eat. He freaked, "OMG WHERE ARE MOM AND DAD", tore through the screen of the open window and jumped about 30 feet down to a friggin cement parking lot. Awesome. Luckily, someone caught him before he could run too far, shoved him back in the room, and also luckily we didn't go out drinking for hours. We came back, got the low-down from the hotel clerk, and then had to find an Animal Hospital for him as he was limping (and of course I assumed he had massive internal injuries and was near death, because I am a paranoid freak). First 3 we tried, ALL CLOSED. Fucking assholes. They say on their websites they're open...but ooooooeee they're not!!!! Sneaky mother fucking assholes.

So, we find the Pet ER open about 30 miles away. Immediately we think...FUCK, this is going to cost a fortune. Not like I really cared, but still, this dog is one expensive lovable fluffy guy. So, we take him to the Pet ER, where they deem him "fine", give him some pain pills and some spray stuff for his paw and send us on our way. They also said he's "milking" his injury probably for attention, because he wasn't limping as much when he was in the back with the doctors. Smart fucking dog.

1 day later, he's limping much worse. They didn't x-ray him at the Pet ER since they noticed he was bearing weight on his leg and assumed it wasn't broken. I dunno. Again, I'm the overparanoid jewish mother, so I just think its worse than it probably is. I'm going to give it one more day or 2, and then its off to the vet here. Which, let me tell you, our regular vet visits here in EXPENSIVE LAND cost about the same as a fucking Pet ER visit in a-bum-fuck Maryland. Just one more reason the Metro DC region is so great!

Wanna move here? Just bend over, and get used to it.