The Weather Gods heard my rant!

Cause its not miserable today, its sunny and warm-ish!

Too bad I'm suffering from a splitting hangover headache and probably won't be enjoying much of the sunshine. I bitch and bitch and bitch about the weather, then I get nice weather, and don't enjoy it.

I'm such an asshole.

Well....I did it.

I went to the mall at 1pm. I never go to the mall at that time. I'm one of those people who is there the second the mall opens, I take approximately 1 hour and do what I need to do and I leave, mostly because I hate people have no patience for crowds, slow walkers, and lines. OOOOee boy it was kind of stressful, but I really wanted to exchange a pair of Cole Haans I bought online (ok when you say SAGE GREEN they should not be GOLD, but maybe I need to study my color wheel a bit more). Did that pretty quickly, and decided to browse a bit in some other stores - which is where I went wrong. I should have just left then and there and called it a successful day.

Banana Republic was hot, crowded, and full of rude people tearing apart the sale section. I feigned interest for about 3.2 minutes and then left. Tried jcrew...god that store just screams I'M PRETENTIOUS, YET REALLY BORING. So I walked in, walked out. Went to Macy's where the shoe section (yeah, I spend $100 on a pair of shoes and then go look at more...that a problem?) was just a complete madhouse. So I realized my success really did end when I left Cole Haan, and I ske-daddled.

After that, I did lots of neat things, like get gas (have I told you how much I love paying for premium fuel? I do. I really really do.), go to the bank, and then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Marshalls. I have a love-hate relationship with that place, so I decided maybe I'd have some luck and stopped on in. For a total of $15, I managed to score a set of 4 stemless wine glasses and 2 adorable ceramic dog bowls for Mr. Coops. A good haul, I'd say, and I think it made my afternoon cross back over the line of "successful".

Now, I'm just killing some time before I go out drinking with Jen, and where we will finish planning our trip to Miami Beach in May.

Now only if this weather would stop being so FUCKING GODDAMNED DEPRESSING, things would be all-around pretty swell.

I don't feel like blogging

I just can't come up with anything good to say lately. I'm just kinda miserable at my job, and so its really dragging down my sharp wit and stellar sense of humor, which makes blogging fucking lame.

So after typing that last sentence, I sat here and stared at my screen thinking of what else I can write. Uh...

I still have a lot of carrots left. I didn't put enough effort into using them too much. But, they are still fresh, no worries mate. I checked. So far I've done stir fry and vegetable soup. "How un-creative, Mel!!!" you cry? Fuck you.

I made jambalaya pasta tonight, and even went all out and used andouille. It was really good. This week is a good cooking week. Perhaps I should just see that as the only positive thing going on right now and smile. I haven't sliced off a finger, given anyone food poisoning, or made something inedible. Now, it is only Wednesday after all so there's plenty of time left for me to fuck up, so I'm going to knock on my wood nightstand and hope that I didn't just jinx myself. Cause that is really how things are going lately.

Eh. In other news, we are taking a trip up to Ocean City the last week of April and we get to take Mr. Coops with us because they have dog friendly beaches and hotels. PLEAAAAAAAASE I need some good weather. PLEEEASE. I don't know what's going on but I just can't handle this COLD anymore. My fingers and toes are constantly freezing, my office is freezing, I'm just SICK OF IT.

WOW I am throwing myself one hell of a pity party.

A shitload of carrots, and other amazing stories

I'm fighting off some kind of head cold that is driving me NUTS, and I'm hoping when I wake up tomorrow morning I will feel 138% instead of the 78.9% I'm feeling right now. Reaching a point at work where if I miss a day (ok, if I miss a day that is Monday - Thursday...I've come to notice Fridays are almost a waste and I should really not bother coming to work, but I'll save that for another post) I'm like, a black hole of behindedness. Or something like that. Basically it sucks.

Um, so there was no point there except to say that I CANNOT AFFORD TO MISS WORK. So cold, get the fuck out of my head cause I ain't got time for your SHIT.

I went to Wal Mart today (or, as I like to call ours, Central America) and then to Safeway for some groceries. Our Wal Mart stresses me out so badly that I typically only go once every 3 months or so, because it takes me that long to recover from each trip there. Today I picked up some towels, pillows, other stupid junk of a smiliar nature that Wal Mart serves a purpose for. I also heard more Spanish than I needed to, and oh man the clothes that some people were wearing holy FUCK do you look at yourself before you leave the house? Like for real? My god. Picture: chubby woman about 5'5", in tight tight tight jeans, a shirt that only goes to right below her boobs, and her massive stomach hanging out over her pants, exposed for the whole world to see. Now, this almost made me turn around and walk right out of Wal Mart. Seriously. But, I stuck it out, got what I needed and ran like hell out of that store. My god.

Safeway, hmm...anything exciting to report...I bought a 5 pound bag of carrots because it was on sale for $1.99 and the normal bag I get (like, 1 or 2 lbs?) was also $1.99, I figured why not. Now I have to figure out what I can start putting carrots in because I now have an assload of them. If you have a good carrot recipe let me know cause I'm kind of stumped. I'm going to do a veg soup, was also thinking some roasted balsamic glazed carrots may be good with steaks this week...and that's about all I got. So help me. Pleeaze.

Oh yes, we entered Mr. Coops in a St. Pat's costume contest, but he didn't win, mostly because we got stuck in the back and the judge never even saw them. But jesus does that dog command attention. I shit you not, at least 30 people stopped to talk to us about him or pet him or whatever. He is such the attention whore. I will post a picture of his costume when I've got some energy.

That is all for now, I think. I'll post on my progress with my 5 pounds of carrots so in case you find yourself with a mother f-ing bushel of carrots, you'll know exactly what to do.

My newest vice

Is reading celebrities' twitter pages. If that's what you call them...pages? Who the fuck cares. All I have discovered is that it's really immensely entertaining. Take, for example, some of these gems I saw this evening while I was surfing the tubes (and while I should have been in bed, asleep, but that's neither here nor there).

Diddy's page: If anyone is with q tip. Tell him to call me pls!!!!!
Mel's response: Seriously? You think someone out there reading your twitters (tweets?) just happens to be with q tip at that very moment?

Neil Diamond's page: I made someone's dream come true with a hug. Life is good (and the sun shines in L.A.)
Mel's response: Wow. If only I had powers like Neil Diamond's. And if only I was in LA where the sun in shining and not in this snowy cold shithole.

Mischa Barton's page: Hey guys, check out this video of me jewelry Shopping at the P3R Showroom! XOXO MB :)
Mel's response: What a rough, rough life that must be. Jewelry shopping. Torture.

Tina Fey's page: Am I eating a Caramello bar for lunch? Yes. Yes I am.
Mel's response: You are my idol.

Penn Jillette: I'm off to LA to pitch a few things. I'm want to do a movie about Vermeer and I want to do a bloody slasher film where I'm the bad guy.
Mel's response: I want to have endless amounts of money and 400 pairs of cole haan shoes. I want I want I want. Greedy magicians.

John Cleese: Thinking about tooth decay...
Mel's response: Aren't we all?

So you all see the huge social value of twitter, right? I mean reading the random crap celebrities post is just endlessly amusing for some reason. Like, I could post the same shit they post but its not nearly as cool or funny because I don't have paparazzi stalking me all day and I don't have millions of dollars. I dunno. Something about it seems voyeuristic, and fascinating. I will not start a twitter page, however, because I have a hard enough time updating my blog and checking facebook 4,312 times a day so really there is no free time left. And no one wants to read what I have to say THAT MANY TIMES A DAY. Not even I want to read that. Come on now.