I break bones and laugh!

Too funny!! Pearl rocks. View here.

Le Puppy!!!

Well, we ended up getting a boy puppy instead of a girl, but he's just as cute. I won't re-hash the night we spent at the animal hospital with him last night, just 5 hours after we picked him up, nor will I say how much that cost. Just look at him :-) His name is COOPER!

A Labradoodle for Mellydoodle!

We've finally done it--we got a puppy! We pick her up next week. She's a labradoodle, and is SUPER cute. Now what we need is a good name...and it is really really really tough. So, I need my faithful following to help me...come on now folks, send in your suggestions!!

LOL nice one Hil

You know the only reason I like this is because Bill Clinton is in it. Oh, and Johnny Sack. And Journey. Heheh. Click HERE

According to Rachael Ray...

...anchovies taste like "salty nuts".

Um? I somehow doubt this. In fact, I know this isn't true because I have anchovy paste in my fridge and it tastes like shit. So, correct statement is, "anchovies taste like pasty shit".



P.S. - Fricking awesome work so far on the Melly Libs. I am LOLing profusely. Keep them coming.

Melly Libs #1

Okay, here is my first effort at Mad Libs, which I am now calling Melly Libs, just in case someone decides to sue me. I want to see how people do with it before I spend a great deal of my very valuable free time coming up with bigger and better things. I definitely admit this first one is sort of lame. But, get over it and get creative and make it as funny or as disturbing as you possibly can. I think I may actually turn it into like, a continuing story, so everyone will have written their own story by the time I get sick of making up Melly Libs for everyone. OK anyway, good luck!!!

Today, I went to the __________ (place/location). I saw this crazy person who was wearing ____________ (clothing item(s)). The crazy person saw me staring at them and I quickly turned and walked away, but I did it so quickly, that I ran straight into a ________ (noun) and found myself completely covered in __________ (um stuff?). The crazy person laughed at me and went about their business. So here I am, walking around in ___________ (wherever you are at) covered in ____________ (whatever you are covered in), and who do I happen to see, but _____________ (person)!! Great. _________ (same person you just mentioned) walks right up to me and says, “is everything going okay with you today?” With a crazy look in my eye, I say, “_________________________”, declare the day a complete bust, and go home and pop open a Heineken. As I drink my cold and tasty beverage, I hear a loud noise outside and go to the window to investigate. Suddenly, I see _______________ (whatever it is you see), and my face goes completely white...

...to be continued.

Sopranos, I miss you already

Tonight was the long awaited, much discussed finale of the Sopranos. I think it ended the only way it could really--with about 400 possibilities as to what happened as Tony, Carmela, Meadow, and AJ sat in that shittay diner place. They could have been robbed, shot, Tony could have been moments away from getting taken by the Feds (was that odd guy with the 80's jacket a Fed? Or, a member of the NY crew?). Sure at first I was like, WHAT THE FUCK (I actually yelled that at the television) and then as I thought about it, there was NO way it could have ended any better.

In memoriam, I post msnbc.com's list of top 10 Sopranos moments. Eh yeah we can all debate those, but still my favorite episode will always be Pine Barrens. And I'll always wonder wtf ever happened to Adriana. That biotch ain't dead. And I'll always think that Tony's mother was the best character. Oh well. I should probably stop acting like the Sopranos are real people, eh? Damn. Well, goodbye to literally THE BEST television show ever made.

NOW what the hell am I going to do with my Sunday nights???? SHIT.

Other fun Sopranos links:
Mad TV spoof on Sopranos if it were on Pax TV (a religious-based channel)
Simpsons parody of Sopranos intro
The Sopranos in seven minutes--pretty great!! (not incl. most recent season)

Only in D.C.

Where: Near the White House
When: Sunday, around 1:30 pm
What: 6 year old hispanic boy blabbing on his Blackberry like it ain't no thing.

FAWK I can't even afford a new cell phone LET ALONE the Blackberry Perl, and this asshole kid is using one? WTF???? ARE YOU A CITIZEN?

End rant.

Stupid Bitch!

First Paris Hilton gets released from jail for being a whiny, bitchy ass crybaby, and THEN SHE GETS FREE CUPCAKES?

WHAT THE FUCK?

Thank god they sent her back to jail. Wonder how long it'll take her to weasel her way out this time?

I can't even believe I wasted 5 minutes of my time writing a post about frigging Paris Hilton. I am disgusted with myself.

CONGRATS!!!!

To Damien, on his new job! I am so very happy for you :-) Now you can afford to buy me a drink next time I see you.

Currently watching: We Are Marshall. Damn, depressing so far. Also I hate Matthew McConawhatever but, I really like sports movies, so I'll keep watching. He's wearing a sweet ass plaid jacket right now tho.

Current opinion: Paris Hilton is a complete waste of space. I get so angry thinking about it it that I won't even say anything else about it. Except this: GROW UP, and DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE with yourself. It is a SAD, sad day in America when her release from prison is a "Breaking News" story at the top of cnn.com.

BIKINGGGGG

Today Scott and I went biking for the first time in um years, and it was painful. We rode the path that goes all along the Potomac, it was beautiful. However, we sure as hell overdid it. One of those things where you kinda forget you have to ride ALL THE WAY BACK. I'd say we did about 6 miles. Not 6 miles of straight, flat path, but 6 miles of winding, twisty turns, hills and shit.

Note to self: need a better bike seat. My ass is killing me. (insert jokes here).

Das about it for the moment!!

GO CAVS!!!

Finally, a Cleveland sports team has done something with themselves! I admit to getting a bit teary eyed tonight as the Cavs kicked some ASS to win game 6 in which the Pistons pretty much quit playing in the 4th qtr. Beautiful. LeBron looked like a giddy schoolboy at the end when he walked back to the locker room. I love it. Pretty scared of San Antonio, that's for sure, but hey let us bask in the glory for a little bit, right?

Went out last night in Georgetown on the waterfront where it was beautiful, crowded, and insanely expensive. We had a decent sized group but managed to rack up a tab of about $280 without tip. Closed out the night at some other bar with good air conditioning and by time we got home and had a quick snack, it was friggin 4am. I can't do that shit anymore. Hence why I slept till noon and wasted my entire day. But, my bike is here, put together, and I plan to start riding tomorrow! WEE!

Here's an interesting msnbc.com article for you all on a phenomenon called "sexsomnia", or, having sex while sleeping. I found this pretty interesting, I mean I've heard of doing other weird shit while sleeping but this is just odd. But the really odd part is that apparently some partners actually like this? Some comments from the article:

Schenck notes that one woman said that her boyfriend while asleep was “more amorous and a gentle lover” who was “more oriented in sexually satisfying her.”

And,

Another woman said she “found some aspects of sleepsex pleasurable ... and a little kinky,” Schenck notes. In fact, the woman liked the sleepsex so much, he adds, that “she requested that the patient incorporate some of the nighttime sexual practices ... into their conscious lovemaking.”

Of course there are many others who don't like it. But yeah I dunno, odd phenomenon if you ask me.

I don't know how this post went from the Cavs to sleep sex, but I'm crazy like that.