idiot = moi

i was out running a multitude of errands today (the priority of which was, find dress to wear to wedding that is in like, 6 days, and i came home without one...again!) when i decided to make a stop at the grocery store, one of my favorite places on earth. i went to the overpriced one today, just because i like it, they have neat and different stuff and lots of free samples. so la de dah, i'm meandering around, filling my cart with things i really don't need, when i finally realize that we are driving back to ohio on wednesday and will be there until sunday. i.e., i only need like, 2.5 days of food. 

shit.

so back i go, returning my lovely asparagus and my salad mix, some prepared stuffed chicken, and a ton of other items. i bet i looked like a real idiot, i figured people thought that i like, couldn't afford the items i bought (which hahahahahah i can't but i buy anyways!), which bothered me for some reason, so i tried to be all sly about it. so this whole debacle turned into like, 1.5 hours at the grocery store to buy 1/8 cartful of random things, many of which we have to consume by wednesday when we pull out of the driveway. looking forward to many turkey sandwiches between now and then!

but yeah, i'm an idiot!

i also went to marshall's to look for a dress (picked up a sweater and ironing board cover instead so not a total loss) and i about lost my shit when some people who were of a certain...how do i say it in PC terms...well whatever, let their kids run around the store like it was a fucking toys r us. ya know, some people like to shop in a calm environment - which is why some of us go out and shop when stores OPEN, so douchebags like the ones i encountered today likely aren't at the store yet with their filthy horribly mannered children. at one point, i gave the one kid a very nasty look and i think i scared him. hahahah thats right! see, situations like this just keep on confirming for me that i will probably never have kids, and if i did, you'd all feel sorry for them.

"She put it in the whore section of her purse!" - Artie Lange

Yeah, I have a sick liking for the Howard Stern show on Sirius. It makes my morning commute a little less shitty. If you want to know the story that statement was in relation to, just think limo, whores, and condoms, and you got yerself a winner. 

In other news, I lost 4 pounds, which is quite exciting as over the past couple of years it has become nearly impossible for me to lose weight. On the other hand, I can look at a cookie and it like, melds itself to my hips. Odd, ain't it? 

Which brings me to my amazing fucking story. Amaaaazing. So I'm at the gyno today, ya know, just chattin' it up about my health (disclaimer: this is not a post about vaginas, so don't get scared...or excited), when she feels my hands. "Holy shit your hands are freezing!" I know, I say. They are...often, actually. Then I tell her, my feet are even worse. So, she feels my toes and is like, same thing. Holy shit. At this point, she's like, "well with everything you're telling me, you have a thyroid problem." Ahhh....alas, little grasshopper, I say (well I didn't call the gyno grasshopper, but you knowz what I sez), I was just tested and the results were more normal than normal can be. I then tell her that I have a Vitamin B12 deficiency, and then she informs me that its shocking because normally only old people have that and it can lead to dementia. Then I make a joke about how wow, that explains a lot durrrrrr and I begin to think she thinks I actually might have dementia. Then she goes off on this wacky tangent about some holistic wacky man they call a "doctor" in DC that I should see, but he's "very expensive" and he could probably offer some "natural remedies" for my "thyroid problem". Errrmmmmm aiite. I actually by this point had even forgotten who I was talking to (i.e., lady part doctor) and I'm like OK, its fucking 5:00 pm, get this shit on the road, I wanna get the fuck outta here.

Moral of the story is, don't be all super friendly to your gyno. You may end up seeing some freaky witch doctor telling him you have dementia and a thyroid problem and drinking expensive magic potions in our nation's capital. 

I know, scary life in the big city, huh?

7-11 is fucking amazing

I really do love the place. Between there and Rite Aid, I know where my paychecks end up.  I went this morning to get what I needed to help my hangover from drinking 2 bottles of wine yesterday - a Super Big Gulp of Diet Coke and my Sunday Washington Post. Oh, and then wolfed a ton of thin crust pizza from Pizza Hut. That helped a lot too. So here's to 7-11, always there when I need it!

Seasonal beers

Well, Anita has started a new thread (not to divert from the thread on 80's movies, but I'm kind of figuring that we can create enough random categories so that we're able to basically say every single 80's movie is the best of something and I lose my interest quickly so I'm over it now, St. Elmo's Fire is still the best and fawk ya'll) on Pumpkin Beers. I thought that all fall Seasonal beers would always have some kind of spice to them, but I can tell ya I have sampled lots so far and some I have no idea as to why they are called Seasonal beers in the fall. Case in point - at one of our favorite bars, Bilbo Baggins, where I was able to do a little beer sampler, I picked all 3 of their Seasonal offerings. They all sucked. So, the guy nicely took them back for me, pretended I never ordered them, and gave me the Dogfish Head Pumpkin Beer instead. Not too shabby - but, not the right balance of Pumpkin and Spice, in my humble opinion. Too much spice, not enough Pumpkin. Anita has thrown out Jack's...and one other one I can't remember even though I just read her comment on the movies post about 1.8 seconds ago. Dementia has set in, apparently. Or, just the meds from my dental work this morning. Either way, we need to have a serious discussion on Pumpkin Beers (and I'm ok with seasonals in general, just as long as they do actually represent the FALL SEASON), cause its already mid-October and time is just running out to drink all of them!

Ok. So far, here' my SHORT short list:

Favorite Seasonal: Sam Adams Oktoberfest, draft
Favorite Pumpkin: Willoughby Brewery, draft

I wouldn't place Dogfish Head in 2nd even in terms of pumpkin beers. Its been a long time since I've had others...looks like I have my work cut out for me in the coming weeks. Anyone care to throw some sticks on the fire?

Oh yah and obviously I never learned how to write because that paragraph I just wrote is fucking huge. Sorry. Noelle, help me O' English teacher of greatness! Like, why do I keep capitalizing the word Pumpkin when its not a proper noun? I dunno. I'm a dumby pants.

Discuss. Not my stupidity, but the beer.

Best 80's Movies

Well, since I threw it out there that St. Elmo's Fire is simply the best 80's movie (and IT IS), I got a comment from the fabulously fabulous Noelle, who said:

I feel like the best 80s movie needs to be placed in categories, so I will make a list:
Horror: Poltergeist
Comedy: Big
Drama: Breakfast Club
Christmas: A Christmas Story
Stupid: Ghostbusters or Spaceballs
Gangster: Scarface

Now, I like this idea of creating categories and whatnot. Let's start a debate (come on 3 readers, buck up). Here is my list, with kind of different categories:

Comedy: Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Musical: Footloose (I guess its musical comedy? Cause that shit is funny.)
Dramedy: St. Elmo's Fire
Random Classic: Goonies
Stupid: Ghostbusters (much agreed, Noelle)
Action: Top Gun

BEST OVERALL: St. Elmo’s Fire

How bout that?

And sadly, I didn't know Scarface was from the 80's. I've never seen it. I'm scared of it.

Oh wait, I might throw Drop Dead Fred in some category, but I'm not sure what to call it. Maybe, "fucked up fun"? Oh shit. What about Dirty Dancing? Ok, so maybe we need "musical drama" and "musical comedy" categories. That might help. Is Dirty Dancing even a musical? More interpretive dance or something.

I feel like there are 80's movies out there we may be forgetting. Maybe not. I'm not a fan really of any of the Molly Ringwald flicks. I know, I know. Shoot me.

Adventures in Dogsitting

Ahh yes, brings back memories to the old 80's movie Adventures in Babysitting with Elisabeth Shue, what a great flick. As were many 80's movies, such as one of my top, all time favorite movies EVER and THE best 80's movie EVER: St. Elmo's Fire. Ahh. I am totally watching that this weekend with a bottle of wine. Or a pizza. Or perhaps both, we'll see how I'm feeling. I'm just that sophisticated, and decisive. Throwing in a little "debate talk". Speaking of, way back when Obama was going to announce his VP choice, I signed up for that little cell phone text message dealy-thing so I could feel all neat and trendy and in-the-know. And thanks for that 3 AM text announcement, btw. Don't think I've quite said how grateful I am for that one. So, I'm on the list. Well, now I can't get off the goddamned list. And to top it off, AT&T and my crackberry (which is so fucked, its more like methlab-berry) both SUCK A BIG FAT ONE. For example, just now, at 11:40 PM I got a text telling me to watch the VP debate at 9 PM. Erm. What? Maverick? No telly time good?

So anyway, until Saturday sometime we are watching the dog of one of Scott's co-workers. It's a longhaired daschund, quite cute, a little feisty, and pretty much not fond of Mr. Coops in the least. Here's how its been going:

Mr. Coops: BARK BARK BARK BARK (lick little dog's weiner) BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK (butt sniff) (lick lick licky licky) BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

Small Dog: scurry....run...hide in couch cushions....SNAPPY BARK...hide...hide more...hide...what is this big furry thing? hide...where's my dad? hide...

Mr. Coops: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK FUCK YOU I WANNA PLAY BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

So, yeah you get the picture. I have a splitting headache, and I left my bottle of Excedrin on my desk at work, since that's usually the place that causes me the most pain. Oh, waaaaahhhh I know. But fuck it, work gives me a headache. So be it. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, 80's movies. I'm telling you, if you haven't seen and loved St. Elmo's Fire, you haven't lived. And if you wanna debate me on what you think the best 80's movie is, go right ahead. You have 2 minutes.