Stern...hehh...

No explanation needed.

http://www.towleroad.com/2008/09/howard-stern-co.html

Scotty and Sketchy

Here is what muh Scotty does with his free time:



And the sketchy item is the plethora all of a sudden of Amway Global commercials. Come on, really? AMWAY?

Ok, 2 sketchy items. Went to one of those fancy-schmancy restaurants on Friday night and I ordered this dish that came with foie gras butter on it. I was going to order something else but the server recommended it and said it didn't have a ton of foie gras on it so i was like ehhh meh ok whatever. By time it got to the table I had gotten myself so disturbed by the fact that there were particles of foie gras on my plate I didn't even want to eat it...but I did. I ate some. Not all of it, and it was even one of those like trendy food plates where the plate is huge and the food is tiny.

Ew.

And for educational purposes:

Wikipedia link for AMWAY

Wikipedia link for FOIE GRAS

Rental Carz Roxz

Not so much. But since I've had the opportunity...or maybe misfortune?...to have driven 3 different rental cars in the past 2 months, I thought I would take the opportunity to comment on their shittyness. Coming in last place on Mel's patented shittyness scale is...

THE HYUNDAI ACCENT. Is this car actually meant to be driven on a road? With other CARS? Gasp! No literally, I feared for my life in this one. I think its meant for those learning to drive in an empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Cause honestly, as to why someone would voluntarily buy one is beyond me.

Next, coming in illustrious second on the scale...so meaning middle of shittyness...

THE CHEVY AVEO. Now, I think it comes in the middle because (1) the one I drove was bright yellow [sidenote: it was yellow Aveo or Red Kia. Obvious choice] and (2) I felt slightly less like I was going to die in a crushing accident than in the Accent. Not much though.

Finally, coming in first, which really ain't saying much in this group of shitty ass automobiles is...

THE SATURN AURA XR. Really, I couldn't not put it in first as it was the only car that had a V6 (really the only one that actually went anywhere when I put my foot on the gas) and the one I felt safest in. However, it makes me feel like an old grandma driving a car that is too powerful and if ya step on the gas too hard is like I might drive through the window of the Old Folks home. I don't even think I felt as grandma-ish driving my mom's old Buick. I have no idea what it is about this automobile, but I age a solid 50 years when I get in it.

Anyone drive any rental cars lately that are better or worse than mine?

Not a political blog, but...

Honestly, I can't help it anymore. The Republican party has driven me to the brink of sheer anger, of disbelief, and...ya know I can't even explain it because I'm just pretty fuckin pissed off. I've got lots of reasons why, but I came up with all kinds of newer and angrier ones once little Mrs. Palin magically arrived on the campaign scene. Here's what I've got to say about that:

1. People will stop talking about your "private family matters" when you stop parading your family around on stage like a herd of cattle.
2. Does anyone REALLY know anything about this woman? I mean, honestly? Who is she?
3. People will stop talking about your "private family matters" when you stop whining about them on the cover of People, US Weekly, OK, and whatever other magazine you've plastered yourself on this week
4. I've heard nothing of substance yet come out of her mouth. Great, rip on x, y, and z all you want - but what, as Vice President, would you focus on? What would you do? Do you even know what the VP DOES?
5. Notice that she's basically being shielded from the media ('cept for those pesky gossip rags) for questions? You know as well as I do its because the Campaign staffs have her holed up, edumicating her beyond belief, so she can emerge for the VP debate with some things to talk about. But answer me this, if a candidate can't be bothered to come out and answer some questions from some reporters because she's spending the next few weeks learning, you tell me how she's ready to potentially run the country should anything happen to the President. She's not even ready for the Campaign trail?!

Like, honestly. Of course all the Republican sheep out there are like OOOOH anti-abortion OOOOH guns OOOH hunting OOOO oil and even some Dems with the OOOOOO she's a woman, damn since Hillary lost I've got a new choice! Gag me. Honestly this is why I've been trying to not get all wacky about the campaigning but I think this is one of those "all gloves are off" type situations.

Yeah, and read THIS article, a humble ditty from one of McCain's fellow POW's. Food for thought.

Have I ever told you I'm not an Obama fan? Shite. Who is the Libertarian this time around? We're all screwed.

End political discussion on le blog of Mel.

Now...anyone drink any good wines lately? I haven't. Maybe I should migrate myself out of the $10 per bottle and under range. For a while I thought it was a super fun challenge - seeing what I could get for el cheapo - but its not so much fun anymore because most of what I get tastes like crap. Maybe I should migrate to the $15 and under range? Meh. Might as well head to World Market tomorrow to see what a nice crisp Jackson can buy me!

Office Follies, pt 1!

Time for a new segment called...."OFFICE FOLLIES!"

Yeah lame so if you think up a better title please post. I just got back from a run and lost the good brain cells along the way.

Anyhow, today's folly is (wait for it, wait for it...)

Leave desk on 3rd floor. Take stairs to 4th floor to the Diet Coke machine. Insert 75 cents, get said Diet Coke, walk back to stairs. For god knows what reason, take stairs UP TO 5TH FLOOR, where I DON'T SIT, see the "5" on the door, mutter "aw fucking shit", and now walk down 2 flights of stairs to find my desk.

Idiot.

Friggin Bargains

I pride myself on bargain hunting. Now I realize that "bargain hunting" is a relative term, since most people wouldn't think that a bright kelly green Cole Haan zip wallet on sale at $100 is a bargain, but I do. Its cause I'm crazy like that. "Well go sell crazy somewhere else, Mel! Shit!" you might say. I say fuck you.

Anyhow, where I really get excited bout the bargains is at l'épicerie, or "grocery store" for all you non-cultureds. I'm actually a coupon clipping nut, but I seem to have this problem where I cut coupons, put them in a ziploc baggie, and lose said ziploc baggie. By time I find it, most of the coupons are expired, save for like 1 coupon which is inevitably for something that I was never actually going to buy, I just thought why the fuck not clip the coupon.

I digress. So I stopped at the store today to buy some of my usuals: turkey, bread, yogurt, vegetables, fruit, whatev. I happened to have my brand new coupon organizer (thank you Container Store for not making me crazy coupon baggie lady anymore) which helped me to find lotsa bargains. My top 2:

bag of organic carrots: 19 cents (das right, ORGANIC food for under a quarter)
wishbone bountifuls tuscan romano basil salad dressing: -1 cent. Yeah they paid me a damn cent for buying that dressing. Prolly tastes like shit-ola.

Couple of other sweet motha bargains in there too but it was like 3 hours ago and since I'm turning old and stupid I don't remember too good.

Anyone else get some sweet FRIGGIN BARGAINS lately?

Muh new ride!

Folks, some sad news. Blueberry is no more. She was traded in yesterday for a pretty new car, in the interim named Silverberry. As to why I bought a gas guzzler, I don't know. I haven't figured it out myself yet, but look how cute it is, and its turbo! I will seriously plow the fuck over those green reflective "caution, children at play" signs parents put in the street when they are too fucking lazy to watch their own kids. I HATE THOSE. Anyhow, here she is (oh ya its a Volkswagen Tiguan, I love that good German engineering)

1. Silverberry's Butt


2. Side A


3. Side B

STRAIGHT HAX0R3d

I STRAIGHT HAXORED YOUR BLOG.

lOVE Sc(())TTY!

Two Months Later...

Yeah, I'm back. I actually forgot I had a blog for a while there. These are the things that happen when you work too much. And if anyone ever visits here again - you'll get a few pics from the last couple weeks to hopefully make up for it. I swear...I'll try harder. I will. I should first explain that over President's Day weekend we headed up to NYC to enjoy some time without the dog, away from the state of Virginia, just bummin around. Of course, when I travel I have a knack for taking no more than like, 5 photos the entire time, as I did this time around, but here they are. Let me say - don't do a weekend getaway in NYC in the winter. Just a dumb idea. However, it resulted in a very justifiable reason to keep ducking into bars to warm up with drinks...about every 2 blocks or so.

Pic 1: This is where the Money is made!



Pic 2: Me mowing the infamous Corned Beef at the infamous Carnegie Deli. Damn, now I want one right now.



Pic 3: That Statue - so tiny!



Pic 4: Not NYC - a picture of the end of our road (the GW Parkway) all covered in snow and pretty last weekend



That is about it. Not bad, eh? Today I'm heading out to do some outlet shopping in Leesburg - where there is both a Burberry and Kate Spade outlet. You can bet I'll be spending too much today. I think that's what money is for though.